as a writer myself... it can feel oppressive at times to write. but, that's as it should be.
the challenge is not beating yourself up when it happens and feeling like you "owe" anyone anything with your art... nothing could be farther from the truth!
your community of readers isn't here b/c you provide us with 1,000's of lines a day... we can get that on mainstream media or twitter. bleh.
I feel you, as someone who tried to take their life this year... In an odd way, I understand his thought process. In the end I dont subscribe to it. In a world where people care about mens mental health about long enough to say something at the funeral.. its rough. You find out that people say "Id be there for you" right up until they need to be, then... poof. Its hard to feel like people care. The same people that would change a girls tire at 3am, wont send you some needed medication in the mail. I think sometimes its nice to know you CAN leave, that you are free in someway.. even when you really would much rather stay and be happy. That there is an escape of sorts. I dont think of it as "revenge", but sometimes as "I was hurting THIS bad, This fucking bad". It becomes hard when my body is sick from fibro, which is a disease that half of the worlds population think is solved by "not feeling so bad" and "exercise"... and are glad to let you know you are just lazy. In the end, I dont think Ill ever try again. It was a very very low point, lost my parents, body decaying, not being able to do the things I love, or when depression kicks in.. even create, or just be happy.. and of course marital problems come with all of these things because I wasn't close enough to feeling like Job from the Bible QUITE yet. Then, guilt because you feel useless NOT being productive. Its when men have value in society, bred and taught we only have value with a job. Thankfully Im on medication now, so the dips are lessened. I think Hunter was close to not doing it, its a shame really. "The police report stated that in Thompson's typewriter was a piece of paper with the date "Feb. 22 '05" and a single word, "counselor" 2 more days and he might still be here.
Maybe its best summed up by Korn "You flirt with suicide, sometimes it kills the pain". Its a voice to talk to when the worlds gone quiet.
Ok really did not mean to make this all about one topic, kinda came out. Great article! Really enjoy Hunters opinions. Always a refreshing point of view.
Damn man, that's heavy. Thank you for this. I'm really sorry you're going through all of this, and I can't pretend to know what you're going through, but I'm glad that what I wrote made some room for you to express how you're feeling. Be well. Or as well as can be.
I appreciate your articles greatly! Its hard to find level headed down to Earth articles anymore. Theres a certain peace in reading calm articles, even if they are about heavy things.
I think sometimes the frustration with the situation my life just gets me in an essay mood lol. Keeps me out of my own head, and affords me the opportunity to maybe let someone else see a struggle, and hopefully a good outcome. Knowing others were struggling, while disheartening, was nice to know I wasn't alone. Watching others succeed was a warm feeling, there IS a way to get past this. With the lock down, its so widespread anymore. Sharing is what I got to hopefully pay it back, let others know they aren't alone either. In a strange, painful way, this all teaches one to have a lot more empathy and kindness. Gotta draw the good from the bad.
Totally. I think that's one reason empathy is such an important human instinct. We have to not just distract ourselves from pain, but go out and see that others are also in pain, that everyone struggles, that we are, whether we like it or not, in this together.
as a writer myself... it can feel oppressive at times to write. but, that's as it should be.
the challenge is not beating yourself up when it happens and feeling like you "owe" anyone anything with your art... nothing could be farther from the truth!
your community of readers isn't here b/c you provide us with 1,000's of lines a day... we can get that on mainstream media or twitter. bleh.
keep doing you.
I really appreciate this John. It really can be oppressive, but just as often it's freeing. Maybe the two go hand in hand.
I feel you, as someone who tried to take their life this year... In an odd way, I understand his thought process. In the end I dont subscribe to it. In a world where people care about mens mental health about long enough to say something at the funeral.. its rough. You find out that people say "Id be there for you" right up until they need to be, then... poof. Its hard to feel like people care. The same people that would change a girls tire at 3am, wont send you some needed medication in the mail. I think sometimes its nice to know you CAN leave, that you are free in someway.. even when you really would much rather stay and be happy. That there is an escape of sorts. I dont think of it as "revenge", but sometimes as "I was hurting THIS bad, This fucking bad". It becomes hard when my body is sick from fibro, which is a disease that half of the worlds population think is solved by "not feeling so bad" and "exercise"... and are glad to let you know you are just lazy. In the end, I dont think Ill ever try again. It was a very very low point, lost my parents, body decaying, not being able to do the things I love, or when depression kicks in.. even create, or just be happy.. and of course marital problems come with all of these things because I wasn't close enough to feeling like Job from the Bible QUITE yet. Then, guilt because you feel useless NOT being productive. Its when men have value in society, bred and taught we only have value with a job. Thankfully Im on medication now, so the dips are lessened. I think Hunter was close to not doing it, its a shame really. "The police report stated that in Thompson's typewriter was a piece of paper with the date "Feb. 22 '05" and a single word, "counselor" 2 more days and he might still be here.
Maybe its best summed up by Korn "You flirt with suicide, sometimes it kills the pain". Its a voice to talk to when the worlds gone quiet.
Ok really did not mean to make this all about one topic, kinda came out. Great article! Really enjoy Hunters opinions. Always a refreshing point of view.
Damn man, that's heavy. Thank you for this. I'm really sorry you're going through all of this, and I can't pretend to know what you're going through, but I'm glad that what I wrote made some room for you to express how you're feeling. Be well. Or as well as can be.
I appreciate your articles greatly! Its hard to find level headed down to Earth articles anymore. Theres a certain peace in reading calm articles, even if they are about heavy things.
I think sometimes the frustration with the situation my life just gets me in an essay mood lol. Keeps me out of my own head, and affords me the opportunity to maybe let someone else see a struggle, and hopefully a good outcome. Knowing others were struggling, while disheartening, was nice to know I wasn't alone. Watching others succeed was a warm feeling, there IS a way to get past this. With the lock down, its so widespread anymore. Sharing is what I got to hopefully pay it back, let others know they aren't alone either. In a strange, painful way, this all teaches one to have a lot more empathy and kindness. Gotta draw the good from the bad.
Totally. I think that's one reason empathy is such an important human instinct. We have to not just distract ourselves from pain, but go out and see that others are also in pain, that everyone struggles, that we are, whether we like it or not, in this together.
i'm a suicide survivor myself. i know this. i know this deeply. https://john.do/suicide/
Thank you or sharing this. Heavy stuff, and I hope you're doing okay.
And please *please* heed your own advice and get help if and when you need it.