Really, Really Old People Should Not Be Allowed To Run For President

The presidency needs an age limit.

There is quite literally no reason—no sane explanation, rather—for the fact that a 34-year-old cannot run for president, but an 81-year-old (of questionable mental acuity) can. And a 77-year-old facing numerous criminal and civil charges. Two old guys clearly not fit for perhaps the most important job in the entire world. That’s what we get. That’s the doom we’ve helped bring down upon our own heads.

The law of the land puts a bottom age floor on presidential contenders. You need to be 35 or older to run. Bizarrely, there is no ceiling. You can be a centenarian and still run for the most powerful political office in the world (I nominate this 111-year-old guy born the same year the Titanic sunk, though unfortunately he’s a Brit). There are age caps for joining the military, but the commander-in-chief of that military—the guy with the big red button—can be wandering into senility, no big deal. And there’s nothing we can do about it. How ridiculous is this scenario we find ourselves in?

Then again, our politics are ridiculous in many ways. Gerrymandering undermines democracy. We have a cap on the number of representatives in the House that makes no sense given the massive population of the United States. We only have two viable parties that are at times barely distinguishable from one another. Congress from above looks like you’re flying in an airplane above the clouds. A sea of white and grey.

Supreme Court Justices serve for life and can keep their gavels handy until they’re old and infirm, dropping dead at the most inopportune moment. Yet they hold enormous power over our day-to-day lives. As lifespans have extended, our system of government looks increasingly like a gerontocracy; and while experience is valuable, it should make everyone nervous that our only choice for president is between Joe Biden, who hardly seems to know where he is half the time, and Donald Trump, who will be in his 80s should he win the 2024 election, which seems increasingly likely despite all the court cases. One of these men should be in a retirement home. The other should be in a prison. Neither should wield such enormous power. And the executive branch has only become more powerful in the past few decades, especially since the 9/11 attacks. More powerful, less accountable. One wonders at times if this branch of government should ever have been created in the first place.

All I know is that there should be an upper limit on who can run for president. Not because I’m ageist, but because I believe it’s in the best interest of the public. It’s practical and sensible and thus will likely never happen. I pick the number 65. That might seem low, but presidents can serve for two terms and the job ages people. Look at photos of George W. Bush or Barack Obama at the start and end of their two terms. You can see the toll it took. At 73, it’s time to retire. Write a book. Go get paid ludicrous amounts of money to give lectures. Work for a consulting firm. Or be like Jimmy Carter and go build houses for poor people. Just get the hell out of the Oval Office. Get out and don’t come back. Out with the old, in with the new.

Alas, come November it will be—once again—a choice between a Turd Sandwich and a Giant Douche. And they wonder why young people don’t vote.

P.S. I was a Bernie guy back when he was running, but I would have been totally fine with him not being allowed to run due to his age. This goes beyond my personal politics.