Thanks Lasagna (there should be a T-shirt that says 'Thanks Lasagna' on it). We had both been married previously and I think had some superstition around it. Maybe that was more me than her in retrospect. My first divorce really burned me hard (in the wallet) though maybe I was wrong to be so jaded. Then again, maybe not! I doubt it would have made much of a difference in the long run.
I wasn’t very good at it either. You’re right, life is life and sometimes life is hard. Sometimes you just have to get through the next hour or the next minute and it’s okay. Take care of you, drink plenty of water and believe tomorrow you’ll do better.
The very same thing happened to me around my 40th birthday. Two little kids at the time. It was an absolutely grim experience. The only upside was I lost 2 stone in weight grieving. It was as if she'd died, but worse than that, as I knew she was still around, but somewhere else, with someone else. So I absolutely feel for you.
But there is a happy ending: After seeing other women for a year or so I kind of gave up; my heart just wasn't in it. Then out of the blue she said shed like to meet. We'd both discovered that we had something that wasn't perfect but was more than the sum of our two parts. We got back together.
That was nearly 20 years ago - yeah, I'm an old git ;) To this day I don't know whether it was a midlife crisis, needing to try something new or not realising that what we had really was something special.
So don't give up. Give each other space to breathe, and who knows, you might both realise you already found what you were looking for.
Thanks, that's quite a comeback story! I wonder how many couples split and then reconnect like that. Pretty cool. I'm not sure how I would feel about that, to be honest. Like I suppose it would be great in many ways, but I would worry...what if it just went bad again? Anyways, thanks for the hope!
That really sucks, so much. I hope you can find something even better with someone else one day. Don’t sweat the content - you’re allowed to have time to yourself to mourn the relationship and heal. Be kind to yourself. 🙂
Thank you Tara. I'll be honest, these days I'm kind of in a "Love stinks!" frame of mind. Dating sounds AWFUL. But yeah, I'm sure down the road when I get out of my funk that could change.
I am so very sorry to hear this news. This is something that is just flat-out hard and painful….but you WILL come through the other side and you will be stronger. Take care of yourself. My thoughts are with you.
Erik, I have to say this makes me really sad. After following you for so long, I have seen many pictures of you both and this came as a real shock. I can only hope that you will be happier in the near future and that things go your way. Fortunately, you are a great writer and also Viking looking men are quite in fashion at the moment! Best of luck to you.
Thanks, Jeff. Isn't it funny how it works now? I feel the same way when someone I know splits up and it seems so out of the blue. All those great fun pictures! But of course we only see that front facing side, the stuff posted to social media, not all the day to day grind or the fights or the sadness. But it really does suck because all those pictures were very true to our experience. We had SO MUCH FUN together. Sigh.
I came across your Boxes poem on FB a few minutes ago and now I’m here and while I’ve been following a long time I can’t believe I missed all this.
But then, looking at the dates, it coincides with major upheaval in my own life. Some major life shifts you see coming but you can’t seem to swerve out of the way and avoid them, others come out of nowhere and you’re left picking up the pieces but either way you’re learning how to steer again.
Anyway, I’m quite taken by your candidness. You write for a living. A lot of us follow you for your reviews and occasionally for the social commentary. But your openness regarding major events in your life - and I’ve noticed you write more about your children - I don’t know… it’s special. It’s real in a way that you don’t see too often. And a lot of people are writing about how they feel or what they are going through but it’s almost too much. It’s heavy handed. There’s an agenda, the need to over analyze (and I’m a Psych major returning for my counseling license), to make a statement and ground breaking commentary based on one’s experiences. Sometimes it feels manipulative.
I don’t get that from you. You’re to the point. The lived experience, the good and bad, it’s enough. I appreciate you letting us in. I hope you and your family are well and having a beautiful holiday season.
Good luck, man. It feels like the end of the world now, but it definitely isn’t. Not even close.
Since you opened up: can I ask why you two never got married?
Thanks Lasagna (there should be a T-shirt that says 'Thanks Lasagna' on it). We had both been married previously and I think had some superstition around it. Maybe that was more me than her in retrospect. My first divorce really burned me hard (in the wallet) though maybe I was wrong to be so jaded. Then again, maybe not! I doubt it would have made much of a difference in the long run.
Look after yourself mate. You’ll get through this.
Thanks, Rob.
I wasn’t very good at it either. You’re right, life is life and sometimes life is hard. Sometimes you just have to get through the next hour or the next minute and it’s okay. Take care of you, drink plenty of water and believe tomorrow you’ll do better.
Thanks, Beth. And thanks for the hydration reminder. I've been kind of bad at self-care lately...
It might take a while and be bumpy sometimes but you’ll get through it and be okay again.
Thank you Irene.
Good luck, Eric. I have faith in you.
Thanks Pepe
I am so very sorry for your situation and hope that things get better soon
Thanks Kimberly.
The very same thing happened to me around my 40th birthday. Two little kids at the time. It was an absolutely grim experience. The only upside was I lost 2 stone in weight grieving. It was as if she'd died, but worse than that, as I knew she was still around, but somewhere else, with someone else. So I absolutely feel for you.
But there is a happy ending: After seeing other women for a year or so I kind of gave up; my heart just wasn't in it. Then out of the blue she said shed like to meet. We'd both discovered that we had something that wasn't perfect but was more than the sum of our two parts. We got back together.
That was nearly 20 years ago - yeah, I'm an old git ;) To this day I don't know whether it was a midlife crisis, needing to try something new or not realising that what we had really was something special.
So don't give up. Give each other space to breathe, and who knows, you might both realise you already found what you were looking for.
Thanks, that's quite a comeback story! I wonder how many couples split and then reconnect like that. Pretty cool. I'm not sure how I would feel about that, to be honest. Like I suppose it would be great in many ways, but I would worry...what if it just went bad again? Anyways, thanks for the hope!
So sorry to hear, Erik. It sucks, but you sound like you're working through it, even if it doesn't feel like it.
Thanks Gina.
That really sucks, so much. I hope you can find something even better with someone else one day. Don’t sweat the content - you’re allowed to have time to yourself to mourn the relationship and heal. Be kind to yourself. 🙂
Thank you Tara. I'll be honest, these days I'm kind of in a "Love stinks!" frame of mind. Dating sounds AWFUL. But yeah, I'm sure down the road when I get out of my funk that could change.
I am so very sorry to hear this news. This is something that is just flat-out hard and painful….but you WILL come through the other side and you will be stronger. Take care of yourself. My thoughts are with you.
Thank you Heather.
Sorry to hear that. As hard as it is right now, everything really will be okay. It just takes time.
Appreciate it Mary.
I'm so sorry to hear this, I honestly wish you all the best, it's not easy you'll get through it
Thank you Aoife.
Erik, I have to say this makes me really sad. After following you for so long, I have seen many pictures of you both and this came as a real shock. I can only hope that you will be happier in the near future and that things go your way. Fortunately, you are a great writer and also Viking looking men are quite in fashion at the moment! Best of luck to you.
Thanks, Jeff. Isn't it funny how it works now? I feel the same way when someone I know splits up and it seems so out of the blue. All those great fun pictures! But of course we only see that front facing side, the stuff posted to social media, not all the day to day grind or the fights or the sadness. But it really does suck because all those pictures were very true to our experience. We had SO MUCH FUN together. Sigh.
Sorry to hear you split. Can't imagine how you're feeling, but I know you'll persevere.
Thanks Jackson.
I came across your Boxes poem on FB a few minutes ago and now I’m here and while I’ve been following a long time I can’t believe I missed all this.
But then, looking at the dates, it coincides with major upheaval in my own life. Some major life shifts you see coming but you can’t seem to swerve out of the way and avoid them, others come out of nowhere and you’re left picking up the pieces but either way you’re learning how to steer again.
Anyway, I’m quite taken by your candidness. You write for a living. A lot of us follow you for your reviews and occasionally for the social commentary. But your openness regarding major events in your life - and I’ve noticed you write more about your children - I don’t know… it’s special. It’s real in a way that you don’t see too often. And a lot of people are writing about how they feel or what they are going through but it’s almost too much. It’s heavy handed. There’s an agenda, the need to over analyze (and I’m a Psych major returning for my counseling license), to make a statement and ground breaking commentary based on one’s experiences. Sometimes it feels manipulative.
I don’t get that from you. You’re to the point. The lived experience, the good and bad, it’s enough. I appreciate you letting us in. I hope you and your family are well and having a beautiful holiday season.
I hope things get better soon. :)