Chris Pratt Is The Devil
How dare he celebrate a healthy baby.
Chris Pratt is the worst, or so I’m told by Twitter and by the increasingly deranged woke media, ever on the prowl for the latest deplorable to cancel or, if that’s not an option, at least smear and malign.
Pratt is the worst because he’s a Christian, right-of-center celebrity when we all know that all actors, musicians and artists should at least try and pretend to be part of an “oppressed” class of people. At least ditch the Jesus stuff, Chris!
Pratt isn’t just a Christian conservative, he’s also a straight, white cis-gendered male. Okay, Mr. Man! as Kathy Bates might say. Chris also hunts and owns guns. What a garbage human being.
As if all these things weren’t bad enough, Pratt got a divorce from his first wife, Anna Faris, without asking Twitter first. Then he went and married Arnold’s daughter Katherine Schwarzenegger (I can never spell that on my first try) who is also straight, cis, white and Christian.
And these two monsters had a baby.
Fast-forward a year. Pratt had the audacity to make a lovey-dovey Instagram post thanking his wife for her love and for giving him a “a gorgeous healthy daughter.”
This is problematic, apparently, because Pratt’s son, Jack (now 9), who he had with Faris was born prematurely and had ensuing developmental and health problems.
The post reads:
Guys. For real. Look how she’s looking at me! I mean. Find you somebody that looks at you like that!! You know!? We met in church. She’s given me an amazing life, a gorgeous healthy daughter, she chews so loudly that sometimes i put in my ear buds to drown it out, but that’s love! She helps me with everything. In return, periodically, I open a jar of pickles. That’s the trade. Her heart is pure and it belongs to me. My greatest treasure right next to my Ken Griffey Jr Upper Deck Rookie card. Which if you know, you know is saying a lot. It’s her birthday in about 6 weeks. So if I don’t get her anything, I’ll tell her to look back on this post. Love you honey. ❤️❤️
Slate calls it cringey, and maybe it is. Lovey-dovey stuff from couples who are really, truly, ridiculously in love is supposed to be cringey. To them it’s not. It’s all butterflies and good sex and floating on air (and going to church together in the Pratt family’s case). To outsiders it’s saccharine and cloying. Maybe we’re even a bit resentful.
But The Internet takes shit too far. Buzzfeed, in a long string of tweets attached to an article about this “controversy” tweeted this gobsmackingly awful bit:
You have the audacity to call Pratt’s post “a gross oversight and at worst just plain cruel” because he’s happy his daughter is healthy? Do you really think he’s dissing his firstborn because he’s celebrating a healthy second child? Is Buzzfeed run by sociopathic assholes?
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Slate piles on with the headline:
The Cringiest Part of Chris Pratt’s Very Cringey Ode to His Wife
That post reads, in part:
The most cringey part for me, though, was this line: “She’s given me an amazing life, a gorgeous healthy daughter …” It’s a reference to their daughter, Lyla Maria, born in August 2020.
This might seem innocuous. People celebrate healthy babies all the time! But Pratt has another child with his ex-wife, Anna Faris. Jack Pratt, now 9, was born nine weeks early, spent a month in the neonatal intensive care unit, and underwent several surgeries.
Is the implication here that Pratt should . . . want that for his daughter also?All that misery? Or that he doesn’t care for his son because he’s happy his daughter is healthy? These ridiculous “journalists” have the audacity to judge a man who went through all that traumatic shit with his now ex-wife and son for being happy he didn’t have to go through it again?
I’m sorry, folks, but this boils my blood. The sheer audacity of putting a man in headlines over this nonsense. Dragging his family into the mud over something so innocuous. Twitter can be awful and its denizens can be truly horrible to people, but professionals at Slate and BuzzFeed should at least have some sliver of shame, just enough to avoid publishing such embarrassing codswallop. A little shame goes a long ways, but I wonder if these people ever even self-reflect, or if they live in a constant state of judging others.
I made a video about this as well, which you can watch below. In it I talk about my own children.
My daughter was born with dangerously low levels of oxygen. She wasn’t crying. She was pale and blue. The nurses all looked terrified. You could tell they thought she wasn’t going to make it. I remember feeling numb. My head hurt. I was exhausted. The part of me that was terrified felt like it was underneath a mountain of rubble. It was there, I just couldn’t tap into it (I’m reminded of Paul Atreides in Dune, incapable of feeling after his father was killed).
She survived. Skilled, highly trained doctors and NICU nurses did their jobs and did them well. She was in the NICU for a week, on oxygen for a month (like having twins—one a baby, one an oxygen tank) and then she was fine. When my second child was born I was absolutely thrilled there were no complications and he was healthy and safe. There was no Instagram back then, but if I’d posted about it and suddenly everyone was screaming at me, I’d think the world had gone completely insane.
Maybe it has. The inmates have taken over the asylum.
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This tweet from regular DIABOLICAL commenter Essex makes a good point also: https://twitter.com/essex7927/status/1456703929937498112
"I wonder how Jack feels about thousands of people talking about how his dad's an evil psychopath because of the fact he also likes his stepmom and baby sister."
Right???
I know your last question is rhetorical, but yes, Buzzfeed IS run by sociopathic assholes. That's been clear for many years now.