Chris Avellone, game journalism and the presumption of innocence

Be excellent to each other and party on.

I have become, over the years, persona non grata in game journalism land.

Not because I’ve said or done anything particularly extreme, but because I say things that make game journalists angry and then they spread falsehoods and try their damndest to smear and cancel me. This is not the first time they’ve tried, not even the second or third time, and it won’t be the last. One day they might just get their way, and that’s fine.

I’ll either make it here on Substack and YouTube, god willing, or I’ll get a different job. I don’t care. I can go do some manual labor or become a delivery person or rob banks or something. It’s just a job. It’s just money. I have to put bread on the table for my children and try to pay the bills like everyone else, and either I’ll do that here or I’ll do it another way. I’m not opposed to hard work, whatever form it takes.

Hell, I’ve been thinking I’d like to maybe write games instead of about games, or do some voice-acting possibly. Try something new. The world is full of possibilities and if they get their way and cancel me, I’ll be okay. At least I’ll have my integrity. At least I’ll have done my best to tell the truth, fight for basic human decency, fight for the things I believe in like freedom of speech and expression, nonviolence and justice—including the presumption of innocence. I’ve made many mistakes along the way, but I have tried to do what I believe is right and if I have to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune because of that, so be it.

In the past my fellow game journalists (not all of them, there are many good ones who mostly keep quiet about all this) tried to get me fired for linking to an emulator for a game that had never been released. Apparently I was promoting theft, though many of those same journalists later posted about emulators or linked to them, blissfully unaware of their own hypocrisy.

Then, during GamerGate when I tried to report on the consumer aspects of that movement and how it was tied to Retake Mass Effect and so forth, I was ridiculed as a member of the “alt-right” and a supporter of harassment and misogyny despite always advocating civility and decency.

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I have not always been perfect in my response to scandal on Twitter. When I first caught wind of this Avellone story I saw a screenshot that included some very inappropriate texting from Avellone to a woman (who is not named in his libel suits) and my immediate, kneejerk reaction was basically “holy shit what is wrong with people?” and I should not have tweeted about it without looking into it further. As I noted in my Forbes piece, I was staying out of controversy for my own mental health which, in 2020 in the middle of the pandemic, with a reckless president saying reckless things and the whole world suddenly very frightening and crazy, was not at its best. Mea culpa. It is human to err. We can only admit our own mistakes and try to do better. At the time, this was actually the only part of the story I heard and only discovered the other accusations later.

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Now that I’m back in the fray, covering serious and controversial topics that other game journalists would very much like me to shut up about—like the Hogwarts Legacy/Troy Leavitt controversy, or Six Days In Fallujah—I am taking as careful an approach as possible, but I am also not holding back. I spent too much time since 2014 avoiding controversy and keeping my head down because it’s so stressful and emotionally trying to be attacked this much.

So I’ve published Avellone’s side of the story over at Forbes in what I believe is a fairly neutral accounting of events, though I am a critic and an opinion writer and so I do editorialize. Most of my work is not straight reporting or investigative reporting, but rather opinion writing about the news or games or what have you. Here’s the article. Make of it what you will.

When it comes to this story, like so many others, we must assess all the facts, all the data, all the sides before leveling judgment. As it stands in the case of Avellone and his accusers, the truth of the matter is simple: We don’t know.

We don’t know who is telling the truth and who is lying or if there’s a little bit of both going on. Avellone denies the allegations and is confident enough to take his accusers to court, but that doesn’t mean he’s telling the truth. The accusations were made on Twitter and we can’t possibly, in any good faith, take them as 100% true either. I keep saying, let’s wait and see. Let’s be compassionate and wise enough to presume innocence all around and see what comes of it all. Listen to women, yes, but people have a right to defend themselves also.

I have been attacked a great deal in the past few days by other members of the press and their followers. Several members of The Gamer attacked me over my article on the Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts 2 post here at diabolical. Editor-in-Chief Kirk McKeand (who has now blocked me) called my piece “embarrassing” on Twitter though he didn’t tag me or make any kind of argument until after I responded, at which point he mocked my physical appearance, scoffed at the number of “likes” my posts get here on my tiny little newsletter, and made a mom joke. Class act, this Kirk guy.

In that Twitter thread many other Blue Checkmarks hopped on the dogpile and talked shit about me with all the usual slanderous bullshit being bandied about. Why argue ideas when you can just crap on someone? These are mostly people I don’t know, save for one colleague who threw me under the bus as well in a stunning act of unprofessionalism. Oh well. I do believe that this behavior says more about them than it does about me. And really, take nothing personally. Be careful with your word, don’t take anything personally, don’t make assumptions and do your best. These are the Four Agreements from Don Miguel Ruiz and along with the Golden Rule—do unto others as you would have them do unto you—and my Stoicism, I try to live by these tenets. It is not always easy.

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When I published my article about Avellone more people came out of the woodwork to insult and smear me. Others came to my defense, both publicly and privately. As of this writing I believe I’m the only game journalist to publish anything about Avellone’s side of the story. Apparently to even report on this (while urging readers to keep an open mind rather than rushing to judgment on either side) is verboten and problematic. Then again, give it time. Others may be penning their own stories as we speak.

Leigh Alexander showed up on Twitter to claim that I’m a “right-wing nut job” and urged her followers to harass me since I have her blocked. Please do not respond in kind. Alexander has said some very silly things and she’s become a deeply unpleasant person as far as I can tell, but she once wrote this excellent defense of GTA4 and so I will always have a sliver of respect for her. Besides, we should never harass and dogpile others. Never stoop to their level.

Erik Kain @erikkain

Here's Leigh's excellent defense of GTA4, the type of piece I would write today for which she would call me a "right-wing nut job"

kotaku.comAnti-Feministing: Debunking The Argument Against GTA IVA pretty blonde mob princess, bound and gagged, is taken kicking and screaming raw-throated curses out of the trunk of the player’s car. Tied to a chair in the hideout of the gangsters who hold her hostage, the player’s asked to snap a photo to send to her Mafia father.

Other people who I have never heard of have posted screenshots of my Substack in an attempt to mock my character, as though a difference of opinion can only be met with personal attacks and derision.

Kirk joined in despite having blocked me, because Kirk—like so many of these social justice types—is actually just a bully masquerading as a person of character and virtue.

Erik Kain @erikkain

Kirk says "wow" to my Empire Strikes Back headline because he wants you to forget his gossip rag's original hed which accused Avellone of drugging and raping countless women (rape has now been removed). Which is more ludicrous? Which actually describes a true thing?

I post this because Kirk thinks my Empire Strikes Back headline—Chris Avellone Strikes Back—is worthy of mockery, while his site’s headline—which accuses Avellone of raping and drugging countless women, despite that not even being in the accusations at all—is just fine. My headline describes exactly what Avellone is doing—striking back—while his, well, you can be the judge of that.

(P.S. This is my “B” headline which I used for search, while my “A” headline is played a little more straight: Video Game Writer Chris Avellone Breaks Silence, Files Libel Suit Against Accusers. We test out different headlines to see what works best. Many sites do).

So I post this simply to lay out what I observe, not to ask for pity, and certainly not to request that anyone go on Twitter and harass anyone currently slinging mud my way. They are miserable enough, they don’t need any extra misery tacked on. They are all clearly afraid of engaging with ideas or making actual arguments, and so they are best left in their little narcissistic echo chamber where they can build themselves up by attempting to tear others down.

And if I’m a stain on the name of game journalism because I want to presume innocence, defend free speech and have the audacity to push back against the rise of authoritarian language policing, censorship and various other nonsense, then I will happily rescind the title. I no longer consider myself a game journalist. I am a journalist and a critic, a YouTuber and “content creator” and a writer. Game journalism can eat shit.

To paraphrase Leigh Alexander:

“Game journalist” isn’t just a dated profession that most people increasingly prefer not to read. Game journalists are over. That’s why they’re so mad.

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