Be Redeemed, Oh Thou Sinners, And Play Far Cry 6 As A Woman

so that the world might be mended

If you’re really pissed off about how shitty Ubisoft has been to its employees—and how especially shitty the French game-maker has been to its female and non-white employees—you should not play Far Cry 6.

Don’t buy this awful company’s (probably very fun) video game. Play a game made by actual human beings, not some digital atrocity cooked up by lizard-brained corporate vampires. Don’t buy it. Maybe pirate it, but don’t shell out actual cash.

If this shit boils your blood—and it should!—don’t play any more Ubisoft games, or at least don’t give Ubisoft your hard-earned $$$.

Ubisoft, like just about every other major corporation, cares more about making shareholders happy than they do about the lives and dignity of their workers or the satisfaction of their customers. If that rubs you wrong, don’t give them your business.

Assassin’s Creed and Far Cry are deeply mediocre, after all. Even Ubisoft’s best games play it safe. What are you really missing? It’s not even brave to resist this thin gruel.

Even so, don’t do this:

When Far Cry 6 releases this fall, those who pick up and play it will have an interesting opportunity. Those users, especially those who feel as though they are part of the "Ubisoft community," will be able to send a message to the makers of the beloved franchise. That message doesn't need to be rolled into the kind of protest that includes not purchasing the game. This time around, buying Far Cry 6 and then making sure that players take on the role of a female Dani Rojas may be more effective than withholding money altogether.

When Far Cry 6 launches, it will do so with a feature that has been a regular in another of the company's franchises. The game will have the ability to allow players to choose for Dani Rojas to be either male or female, but there really should only be one choice. The female Dani looks to be the right one for more reasons than just because many ads have featured that version. This game comes from a company that has had some apparent problems, and those in the Ubisoft community shunning the idea that a character like Dani Rojas would ever be a man can send a very clear message to the developers. It would do that while making sure users are getting the full Far Cry 6 experience.

Yeah suck on that, Ubisoft. Suck on that.

If you buy Far Cry 6 and then play as the female version of Dani Rojas you’re still buying Far Cry 6 and you’re still putting money into Ubisoft’s coffers and you’re still supporting the abuse and the bullshit but like also you’re playing as a woman in teh vidya gamez so uh… power to the people amirite?

Also, we can say “these assholes are a bunch of sodden fucking cowards for not just releasing a Far Cry game with a female lead” but even if Far Cry 6 had a female lead it wouldn’t change the culture at Ubisoft. Miraculously, abusers can still produce games with female leads and diverse casts. And duck into cover.

But okay, stick it to the corporations by playing as a female Dani in Far Cry 6. That’ll show ‘em.

This is low-hanging fruit. I’m sorry. I get it—we have to stumble in order to learn how to stand. But if you’ve already crossed the Rubicon, if you’ve already mailed $59.99 or (lately) $69.99 to Yves Guillemot by way of Amazon or GameStop, if you’ve puckered your lips and licked that stamp, just roll with it.

If you play Far Cry 6, pick male or female Dani Rojas based on the voice-acting. Whichever performance is better, stick with that. Video games are long and tedious these days. Plan accordingly.

I play FemShep in Mass Effect because Jennifer Hale is—in my brutish opinion—the vastly better voice actor. I played as the male Eivor in Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla because Magnus Bruun was, in my humblest of verdicts, the better of the two, the most listen-able.

If you want to ease your conscience by playing as a chick in a video game made by some soulless corporation knee-deep in the mire: you go girl. Stick it to the man. I’m sure Ubisoft will totally buckle under the pressure of selling you their latest AAA video game. And playing as a girl.

Also, I have to ask: Why aren’t you subscribed to this Substack yet?